Warning: Expect foul language. I often blog when sleep deprived, and even when I'm not sleep deprived I cuss.
Warning the second: TMI often occurs. Read at your own risk. Feel free to laugh at my expense (I know I do!).
Warning the third: I suppose I should just put a general Trigger Warning here. I talk about mental illness (Anxiety, panic disorder, depression, social shit), abuse (rarely), and my fucked up relationship with food. And...other things. Actually, just consider this a general warning: If you might be triggered by things, you probably should read no further.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Idiot Ex

So I have an idiot ex. He's not legally my ex yet, but he should be shortly. He called me today to tell me his girlfriend is pregnant. I was not surprised, and didn't act surprised. It felt like he was waiting for some kind of reaction. I asked him what reaction he was expecting and he said pretty much the one he got. He tried to claim that he was telling me because he thought it might affect us filing for divorce. I called him an idiot, because the idea makes no sense. Her child has nothing to do with me. Oy.
I wouldn't trade in the years of being married, because it helped me become who I am. I wouldn't have discovered what I'm capable of if he hadn't fucked up all the time. Seriously! Without having to deal with a whole slew of stupid decisions I wouldn't know that I have the ability to handle disaster. The only thing I would change...I think I would have ended the marriage about two years ago. The last two years haven't really taught me anything, they've just been incredibly stressful. If I could go back in time...I would have left him after I started pursuing a college education. My life would have been better if I had. Everything before then I wouldn't change though! I wouldn't have gone back to school if it wasn't for him, and wouldn't have become as tough as I am.
He misses me as his friend. I told him that I can't be friends with someone I can't trust, and he has destroyed every vestige of trust. Even if somehow he could overcome that, his girlfriend is a manipulative, untrustworthy bitch and that easily triples the amount of distrust. I told him he could send me guilt presents though ;). If he sends me guilt presents then I call with a thank you. Sounds like a good deal to me :D.

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