Warning: Expect foul language. I often blog when sleep deprived, and even when I'm not sleep deprived I cuss.
Warning the second: TMI often occurs. Read at your own risk. Feel free to laugh at my expense (I know I do!).
Warning the third: I suppose I should just put a general Trigger Warning here. I talk about mental illness (Anxiety, panic disorder, depression, social shit), abuse (rarely), and my fucked up relationship with food. And...other things. Actually, just consider this a general warning: If you might be triggered by things, you probably should read no further.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


I used to work as a teller for <insert corporate entity here>. I was pretty good at it, but it wasn't good for me. I was very good at snapping off one liners. If corporate had ever heard how I talked to some of my customers I would have been fired in a heartbeat, but the customers enjoyed it. I had a few stock responses, jokes and comments that I would make to people. One of them created an interesting conversation that has stuck with me and, from what she said, was going to stick with the other person as well.
When people would ask me how I was doing I would primarily respond "Livin' the dream. Every day in every way." Usually people would respond with "More like the nightmare, haha" or something like that. This gal was going through a rough period and responded with a sarcastic comment to the tune of "Oh really? How do you manage that? grumpgrumpbitchmoangrump". I responded as I usually did, "It's a choice. I choose to live the dream." She got really quiet and then asked me to elaborate.
I had never had someone asked me to elaborate, so I told her one of my true philosophies and took off from there. I figure that life is a choice between laughter and tears, and I choose laughter. I have a lot of crap wrong with me, I have fibromyalgia so am in a fairly constant state of pain and I have mental illnesses that make life difficult. But I choose laughter, I choose to the live the dream. I'm not an optimist, and I'm not blind to the awfulness of the world around me. I'm really not. I just don't see how choosing to allow misery to rule my life is going to improve the world or my situation. There is, of course, a place for grief and anger and all other emotions. There can be no depth to happiness without sorrow. But we can choose to be happy. We can choose to say "This is my life, and I'm gonna live the dream." We can transform our lives by always pursuing the best. Attitude is everything. I can do more than "make do" in a situation, I can do more than just survive, I choose to thrive.

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