Warning: Expect foul language. I often blog when sleep deprived, and even when I'm not sleep deprived I cuss.
Warning the second: TMI often occurs. Read at your own risk. Feel free to laugh at my expense (I know I do!).
Warning the third: I suppose I should just put a general Trigger Warning here. I talk about mental illness (Anxiety, panic disorder, depression, social shit), abuse (rarely), and my fucked up relationship with food. And...other things. Actually, just consider this a general warning: If you might be triggered by things, you probably should read no further.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Well, that's annoying

So right now I'm walking this thin line of really enjoying school and being overwhelmed by it. Part of it is all of the social interaction, part of it's my fibro flaring. I'm going on a little over two weeks of not a day without painkiller. Yay. /sigh. In class I'm so exhausted that I'm afraid I'm not picking things up. So far I seem to be getting it, but I'm worried that I'll fall behind. I am so incredibly grateful for my note taker in Intercultural Communications and Access Services in general. If I didn't have that back up I don't know what I'd be doing right now.
I'm interacting with people a LOT. It's...good, but overwhelming. Very overwhelming. I may be pushing myself too hard in this arena, but...I don't know how else to do it. I'm an all or nothing sort of girl. I also really, truly, honestly enjoy people. My brain just doesn't like it.
I'm falling behind on schoolwork, in spite of not watching my shows. I just...I get home and my mind is so all over the place and jumpy that I just curl up and play solo games on the computer or (more likely) escape into a book. I know I have work to do, and it's not that I'm lazy, I just... My crazy wants to run away. I want school to go well so incredibly much, but my crazy is just like..."Why the fuck are you putting me through this? Why can't we just stay in the room and have the world leave us alone??" And this is *with* medication.
I just don't know what to do.

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