Warning: Expect foul language. I often blog when sleep deprived, and even when I'm not sleep deprived I cuss.
Warning the second: TMI often occurs. Read at your own risk. Feel free to laugh at my expense (I know I do!).
Warning the third: I suppose I should just put a general Trigger Warning here. I talk about mental illness (Anxiety, panic disorder, depression, social shit), abuse (rarely), and my fucked up relationship with food. And...other things. Actually, just consider this a general warning: If you might be triggered by things, you probably should read no further.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

More on Lavender Marriage

Okay, I think I may be cured of thoughts of Lavender Marriage (though I may have nightmares). I found a matchmaking site for marriages of convenience. In the about section it had a lot of bull, but one thing that made me shudder was a sentiment of "hey, who knows, maybe it'll make you straight!"... *shudder**shudder*
Why was I googling lavender marriage? Because The Grand Narrative (a truly excellent blog on Korean culture from a Western standpoint) had a couple of links to youtube interviews of gay people in Korea. Why would this lead to googling LM? Because the lesbian interviewed mentioned as her weirdest experience going to a party for gay and lesbian people...only to find that it was a marriage party. Yes, a party to arrange lavender marriages to keep their families happy.
The reason it bothers me is because it seems archaic...but then when I think about it I's not really. It's sad, but for those who care deeply about their families it seems like not only a viable option but possibly the best option. That could so easily be me. I mom is not happy with my sexuality. My other parents don't even know (well, I'm pretty sure she didn't discuss it with my stepfather anyways). I love my family a lot. I could see making that decision, and even having kids. And that troubles me. Because...we're living in the future and the future's not supposed to be like this. It's supposed to be okay to be whoever we are. But it's not okay.
I would love to have kids, but I have no problem with the idea of adopting instead of giving birth. I have no problem with the idea of giving birth either. The thing is...there *is* an overpopulation problem and there *are* a lot of children without families. Doesn't it seem like gay people adopting is just...logical? Instead of lavender marrying and having kids (from my reading this scenario is more common than we'd like to think), why can't people just be with who they want to be and adopt? Hell, or go the surrogacy/sperm donor route I suppose. This is turning into a lame thing. Because I don't even know what I'm thinking so I don't know what I'm trying to say.
I guess....I guess I'm trying to say that I'm disappointed that this world is the way it is. I accept it, and to a certain degree I even understand it. But it's no less disappointing for all of that. Why can't everyone love who they're going to love and live their lives the best way possible? I mean, I don't see how that could make the world any worse than it already is, and it could make it a whole lot better. But people choose to interpret their scriptures (of whatever sort, confucianism is apparently no more accepting of homosexuality than conservative christianity) in the least loving way possible.
"John 13:34-35 (NIVUK) A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
"Matthew 7:1 (NIVUK)  Do not judge, or you too will be judged."
"John 8:7 (NIVUK) When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."
This equation seems simple enough to solve, so why do so called christians have such a hard time with it? Here, let's try another.
"Mark 12:28-31(NIVUK) One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, Of all the commandments, which is the most important? The most important one, answered Jesus, is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbour as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."
Let's recap...To show that you are a follower of Christ to the world around you, you should love one another as Christ loves you. You should love your neighbour as much as you love yourself. Unless you're free of sin you don't have room to cast aspersions on others' choices. Keep in mind that if you run the very real risk of being judged yourself. From my interpretation that judgment is a Heavenly one. I hope the Pearly Gates exist somehow so I can see the hatemongers trying to argue scripture at the gates.

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