Warning: Expect foul language. I often blog when sleep deprived, and even when I'm not sleep deprived I cuss.
Warning the second: TMI often occurs. Read at your own risk. Feel free to laugh at my expense (I know I do!).
Warning the third: I suppose I should just put a general Trigger Warning here. I talk about mental illness (Anxiety, panic disorder, depression, social shit), abuse (rarely), and my fucked up relationship with food. And...other things. Actually, just consider this a general warning: If you might be triggered by things, you probably should read no further.

Friday, May 4, 2012


I don't think I can fully express how completely aggravating, condescending and plain ol' stupid it is to tell someone with a mental illness that people can just "think" themselves out of depression. Yes, if you are merely sad, you can sometimes cheer yourself up. I know this, I've observed it. Hell, I've DONE it. But there's a huge fucking difference between sadness and Major fucking Depressive Disorder, aka REAL depression. The person in question KNOWS I am mentally ill and what those illnesses are. Why? Because I'm completely open about the fact that I have them, and if people want to know details I'm more than willing to share. Why am I so open about it? Because I am sick to death of the way people perceive mental illness, and the fact that as an "invisible" disability it's not really taken seriously. People always say I don't "look" like I have a mental illness. What the hell am I supposed to look like? Maybe if they meet enough people who are not ashamed to admit that they have a chemical imbalance in their brain, maybe then they'll realize that mental illness is not something you can SEE. Yes, sometimes you can see symptoms of mental illness, but that is far different than actually seeing someone's illness.
I spent the last seven years of my life with someone who could not understand why I didn't just "get over it" because it was all in my head. Someone who would get frustrated and mock me for having panic attacks. Why? Because there was no "reason" for them, and they (and I) were stupid. So maybe I'm a little sensitive on the issue. That said...
If you know someone who has a mental illness and has the astounding courage to share that fact with you...DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT tell them to "just get over it", or that it's "mind over matter", or that if they'll just get a better attitude they won't have these problems anymore. Why shouldn't you say things like that? BECAUSE THEY ARE SHITTY THINGS TO SAY. If you broke your leg would you appreciate it if someone laughed at you for having to use crutches, because they twisted their ankle once and didn't need any crutches you wuss? No, you wouldn't. Why? Because there's a huge difference between twisting your ankle and breaking your leg. Just like there is a HUGE difference between you being an angsty teen with a bad attitude who changed your behaviour, and me having a chemical imbalance in my brain that is beyond my control.
FUCK, people, it's not rocket science. Why is this so hard to understand? Seriously. It is beyond my comprehension how people can continually say shit like this when they know better. Does everybody know better? No. But...if you know someone for years, whether friends, lovers or family, and observe their mental illness...and have explained to you what is wrong and why it's happening...and you persist in shitastic comments and attitudes, such as the ones I wrote about above...It is beyond my comprehension how you could be such a shitty person.

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