Subtitle

Warning: Expect foul language. I often blog when sleep deprived, and even when I'm not sleep deprived I cuss.
Warning the second: TMI often occurs. Read at your own risk. Feel free to laugh at my expense (I know I do!).
Warning the third: I suppose I should just put a general Trigger Warning here. I talk about mental illness (Anxiety, panic disorder, depression, social shit), abuse (rarely), and my fucked up relationship with food. And...other things. Actually, just consider this a general warning: If you might be triggered by things, you probably should read no further.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Pondering

This is a thunking day. That's like thinking only more so! Thunking isn't a real word (and perhaps more suited to dropping things, since "thunk" is generally used as the sound of something settling heavily on another surface), but I use it a lot. Thunking is when my brain goes 'round and 'round and 'round, pondering and pontificating. Today has been that kind of day. All sorts of subjects. The one I was just thinking about is what got me logging back in.
Ethnicity. I like to find people to talk to internationally and one of those is the person I shared my gramma's story with. It made me start to thunk. My dad always wanted us to have the immigrant spirit and drive, to want to be more than what we were, rather than settling complacently or worse, feel entitled. I definitely learned the work ethic from him, and I think he kind of encouraged us to admire immigrants more than "native sons". When given the opportunity, I still tend in that direction. The people I want to like me tend to be first generation immigrants. So, if I'm going to stereotype (which is what the last bit of thunking has been on) I tend to want to be friends with Filipino, East Indian and Korean folks more than any others. Yes, that *is* the primary immigrant makeup of the area I lived in for the last four years! Living where I am now is just *weird*. White people *everywhere*!
I also wonder why it is that the entrepreneurial sorts tend to be Korean or East Indian, whereas most Chinese folks I know tends towards "the professions" (i.e. doctors, accountants, etc.). Is it a cultural thing? Or is it just coincidentally the type of person I tend to meet? But if that's so, then why is there the entertainment stereotype of the Korean or East Indian shopowner?
I do know one thing, and that's why I tend to instinctively trust middle-aged folks with a Filipino accent. My Uncle Teodoro was Filipino. Haven't seen him in close to two decades, but that memory remains :). He was a divinity student who lived with my parents when I was a kid. He was an awesome uncle *sigh*. I wish I could find him again, but my google-fu does not seem to extend to finding people. In any case, I still have this thing about trust of that accent in the right age bracket. The person *has* to be older than me for it to kick in, but if they are and they have a Filipino accent I will trust them and act something like a puppy dog /sheepish.
I miss my Korean ladies *sigh*. Particularly Jen. She was much older than me (a lady never asks another lady her age), but we got along really well. She cried my last day on the job and gave me my lucky bamboo (which is thriving, even though I don't think most people keep theirs as leafy as I like mine). When cash flow ensues at whatever point, I'm going to make a point of trying to swing by her store to see her. I love Kdramas (even when I called them Korean soaps and had no English subtitles!), but the reason I would love to visit Korea is because of the fantastic first generation Korean immigrants I have met and hit it off with. There have been very few I have not hit it off with, but they *have* been primarily women. /ponders.
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. My brain goes around in circles and comes back on itself. I would love to travel the world just to meet the people! I've said often that I'm a social butterfly trapped in a socialphobe's body, but recently I have consciously decided to stop saying that. As a friend pointed out, I *am* a social butterfly. There's no denying that. I'm just currently in my cocoon!

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