There is no shame in having a mental illness. I understand feeling embarrassment when someone witnesses a panic attack. I totally understand that. But that is different than shame. Shall we visit dictionary.com for a moment? Let's. It'll be a learning adventure! *cheesy smile*
1.the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another
2.susceptibility to this feeling:
4.a fact or circumstance bringing disgrace or regret
How is a chemical imbalance in the brain, or a brain that is just wired differently, dishonourable, improper, ridiculous, etc.? Why should it be a disgrace? It's just who we are. Again, feeling embarrassment ( make uncomfortably self-conscious) that someone has witnessed a private moment is completely reasonable. Feeling shame for something that so directly influences the person you are/are becoming/ will become on the other hand is stupid and self-destructive.
Emily Dickinson said it best:
Much Madness is divinest Sense -
To a discerning Eye -
Much Sense - the starkest Madness -
’Tis the Majority
In this, as all, prevail -
Assent - and you are sane -
Demur - you’re straightway dangerous -
And handled with a Chain -
Who cares why Society and the so-called Majority are uncomfortable with us? We're better than that. We are amazing fucking creatures. Unicorns filled with magic and glitter and dreams beyond the normals' wildest dreamings. I think we make them uncomfortable because they're secretly afraid that we know more than them, see more than they see, and can understand things that they don't.
I have no idea why my formatting went all funky. That was weird. But who cares. Onward!
We, the crazy, the maladjusted, the weirdos, the freaks, we are the minds filled with wonder. As I have heard so many say, the arts would flounder without mental illness. Medicated or not, in therapy, counseling, or what have you, we see things in ways the rest of the world envies. Van Gogh, Cobain, Wilde, Dickinson, O'Connor, all of them were freaks like us. History is littered with our brethren (and sistren ;) ). Were some of us killed unjustly? Hell yes. Still happens today in some parts of the world. But so many of the great and beautiful marks on history were made by folks like us. And, yes, accepting and embracing that means we have to acknowledge that not all of the impact of our crazy forebearers was good. But the normals of their time have faded into the shadows of history. Normals can't make history because they're too afraid.
Yes, a lot of us are often scared of change. That's perfectly acceptable. But the fact is that we are still in a different category altogether from those trying to maintain society's status quo. The status is not quo. We know it and so do they. We remind them of it, and they resent that.
I wish I could write you a song, fuck that shit, I wish I could write all of us a motherfucking SYMPHONY, resounding with our awesomeness. It would make some normals quake in their boots, and some open their eyes for the first time. Alas, I've neither the inherent genius nor the attention span. So you'll have to settle for what I've said so far.
There is NO shame in being different, it is a thing of PRIDE. Deal with it, because I won't stop saying it.