Warning: Expect foul language. I often blog when sleep deprived, and even when I'm not sleep deprived I cuss.
Warning the second: TMI often occurs. Read at your own risk. Feel free to laugh at my expense (I know I do!).
Warning the third: I suppose I should just put a general Trigger Warning here. I talk about mental illness (Anxiety, panic disorder, depression, social shit), abuse (rarely), and my fucked up relationship with food. And...other things. Actually, just consider this a general warning: If you might be triggered by things, you probably should read no further.

Sunday, December 2, 2012


I probably spelled that wrong. In any case, it appears that I am, indeed, in an upturn. Went to karaoke with friends (and professor and a couple miscellaneous classmates) and it was amazing. We were there for three, three and a half hours. My throat is still sore. I'm so happy, I didn't have a panic attack!! Well, not a full-on one anyways. I could tell my body was trying to do something because I was waaay shorter of breath than the situation warranted. But what matters is that I didn't have an attack, almost only counts in horseshoes...I think. I haven't played since I was a kid but I've heard that phrase oh-so-many times ;).
It's not just the fact that I'm in an upswing. I mean, me not having a panic attack isn't. Just because of the upswing... Anyways. It's because most of the people there were my friends and a safe space was created. I know these people like me, and that they wouldn't let someone else be mean to me, so I felt safe. It was glorious. We sang, we danced, we acted like fools, and I was happy.
I'm not sure how I'm going to do in finals week, but I know that my GPA is acceptable for university, I have friends who are more than willing to help me study (even when it's long distance when I'm in another state), I have another friend I'll be able to see regularly when I'm in AZ (we're hoping to have an in-person hangout once a month), I have a personal statement for my uni app that I'm happy with, and I was able to socialize in a group while doing karaoke. Life is good.


  1. Darling! You, at karaoke? I'm so proud of you!

    1. I was proud of me too! Though it wasn't bar karoake, it was "room" karoake, but still.