Warning: Expect foul language. I often blog when sleep deprived, and even when I'm not sleep deprived I cuss.
Warning the second: TMI often occurs. Read at your own risk. Feel free to laugh at my expense (I know I do!).
Warning the third: I suppose I should just put a general Trigger Warning here. I talk about mental illness (Anxiety, panic disorder, depression, social shit), abuse (rarely), and my fucked up relationship with food. And...other things. Actually, just consider this a general warning: If you might be triggered by things, you probably should read no further.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

O! The possibilities

I'm still not in the best headspace (yay lack of meds!) but things keep happening to encourage me. I won't talk about the biggest one because it may not happen. Though I have been trumpeting it to my friends because excitement. I may or may not remember to blog about it if it happens, so you may wonder FOREVER.
One fantabulous development is that Wendy's daughter (who I am also friends with) might be going to college in Tucson, which MEANS...I may still be living with a friend even if I DO have to live in Tucson! Of all the possible Arizona-living-situation results, this would be the most ideal. We get along well, we've got a lot of shared interests, and (very importantly) she's a carer just like her mom and step-dad. I think we would take good care of each other and I think she would make sure I take my meds and vihtermins. Plus, living with another Korean entertainment fan would make fangirling SO FUN. I would save a LOT on gas and still have someone I know around (yay not living with strangers!). I also think we'd be good at encouraging each other to finish goals. To top things off, she is an EXCELLENT cuddle-buddy. So fingers crossed.
I'm also going to get a chance to test drive teaching english...sort of. They're going to be trying conversation groups (as opposed to one-on-one) and I'm the conversation partner who's going to be doing it :D. My friends and I have proven that conversation groups work better for some people. So that is groovy as HELL.
I'm keeping my head up as best I can, but I can feel the downswing lurking beneath. Good days are like life preservers and bad days...well...they suck. I'm a moment from tears lately, but that's just something I have to deal with. Mostly by crying. Hope is keeping my head up, hope is keeping me going, but GODdamn I'm tired.

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