Warning: Expect foul language. I often blog when sleep deprived, and even when I'm not sleep deprived I cuss.
Warning the second: TMI often occurs. Read at your own risk. Feel free to laugh at my expense (I know I do!).
Warning the third: I suppose I should just put a general Trigger Warning here. I talk about mental illness (Anxiety, panic disorder, depression, social shit), abuse (rarely), and my fucked up relationship with food. And...other things. Actually, just consider this a general warning: If you might be triggered by things, you probably should read no further.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Talking with friends

So I was chatting with an old friend online. We don't talk much, but we generally have good conversations when we do. She's been teaching overseas for...God...Four years now? Something like that. In any case, she's been teaching in Korea and is heading to Japan tomorrow. We have a lot of issues in common (anxiety and fibromyalgia mainly). It's so nice to know other people with similar problems. Because knowing that she can do it gives me hope.
I still don't know if teaching English is what I'd like to do. I mean, I know linguistics and Language are major interests of mine (for even longer than libraries and books have been, honestly) but I don't know if that means I want to teach. But knowing that it IS an option and might be something I'd like to do...means a lot. I don't want to get in an education in a field because some charts and projections say it'll get me a job. I want to get my degree in something I love and figure out a way to translate that into a job I can tolerate. I don't need to love my job, I just need my future job not to make me worse physically, mentally, and emotionally. I find fulfillment in my interpersonal relationships. The only thing that made my last job bearable was those relationships. My customers, my coworkers, *they're* what made me able to hold that job for over five years.
I'm not a naive youngster, though sometimes I'm sure I still seem so. I know what it means to compromise, and what's more important is that I've learned when it is NOT appropriate to do so. I know how to find happiness, and I will succeed in doing so. In five years I want to read this and say "Damn Straight"...which makes me giggle because it's late and I'm not. Straight, that is.

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