Warning: Expect foul language. I often blog when sleep deprived, and even when I'm not sleep deprived I cuss.
Warning the second: TMI often occurs. Read at your own risk. Feel free to laugh at my expense (I know I do!).
Warning the third: I suppose I should just put a general Trigger Warning here. I talk about mental illness (Anxiety, panic disorder, depression, social shit), abuse (rarely), and my fucked up relationship with food. And...other things. Actually, just consider this a general warning: If you might be triggered by things, you probably should read no further.

Monday, July 2, 2012


So I was all set to have an epic (alright, maybe epic is the wrong word, but still) battle involving armor and weapons made from aluminum foil. My fibro has been flaring for the last few days, so I was simultaneously relieved and disappointed when everyone cancelled on me. If they hadn't cancelled, I would have done it and paid for it for DAYS. I know this. But it would have been so much fun!!
It's so hard to formulate coherent and complete thoughts when your fibro and sinus problems are flaring, causing inordinate amounts of pain, little to no sleep, and just plain crankiness. I want to do a bunch of stuff but it just isn't happening. This morning I didn't move out of bed for two hours because I had miraculously found a position where I was barely in any pain AT ALL. Practically pain free is a glorious thing. I finally got out of bed and started hurting. Now I'm just trying to stay awake so that I can sleep tonight, because for some reason I think it will help (even though I know it won't).
It's so annoying. I can't even read right now. I'm the girl who has a serious book habit, but I can't focus on the page and story for longer than a minute. Which is really pissing me off, because I have now started three awesome books and I just can't read them. I found "Skulduggery Pleasant" through the Goodreads recommendations bar and started reading it. Fantastic! I love books that have strong heroines in their early teens, and this book also has an animate skeleton, magic, a sense of humour, and decent writing. It's also the first book in a series, which means that there are more books waiting for me!! I'm a third of the way through and I stare at the page and blink. Sometimes I turn a few pages and can't remember what happened, so have to turn back.
A friend of mine recommended an author to me, so I picked up one of her books at the library. "Discount Armageddon" has as its main character a cryptozoologist who helps maintain a balanced ecosystem...and is a professional ballroom dancer. !!! I'm also a third of the way through that one and am annoyed that i'm having such difficulty reading.
Aside from those two books specifically, I managed to get all the "Vatta's War" books that I had not been aware had been published so I could marathon them...but I can't even get started. As well as the Stevermer-Wrede book "The Mislaid Magician", which is part of a simply marvelous series/world they've created, Betty White's memoir, Lilian Gish's biography, and a number of others that just look fantastic. I have bibliophile grief right now because pain is costing me my ability to process what I'm reading.
Wait. What the fuck. Why is pain costing me the ability to read, but not to write?! There is no fucking justice in the world. FUCK.
Did I mention that my profanity level increases exponentially when my fibro is flaring and I'm tired, cranky, and being foiled in my plans by the universe and my motherfucking asshole of a body? Fucken, fuck, fuckity, FUCK FUCK, fucken bullshit, shitfuck, craptacularly fucked up shitwagon. Fuck is my favourite word right now.


  1. Sorry about all your pain, but thanks for the book recommendations...

    1. lol, if you ever need recs, I'm the girl to ask ;)