Warning: Expect foul language. I often blog when sleep deprived, and even when I'm not sleep deprived I cuss.
Warning the second: TMI often occurs. Read at your own risk. Feel free to laugh at my expense (I know I do!).
Warning the third: I suppose I should just put a general Trigger Warning here. I talk about mental illness (Anxiety, panic disorder, depression, social shit), abuse (rarely), and my fucked up relationship with food. And...other things. Actually, just consider this a general warning: If you might be triggered by things, you probably should read no further.

Friday, June 7, 2013

When cancer wins...and when it doesn't.

Awhile back I wrote a post about "FUCK CANCER" in regards to an amazing lady I knew. Earlier this week I found out that she died last Saturday. It was a long battle, it was a hard battle, and I feel so bad for her family. I grieved in my anger when I made that fuck cancer post. I still get teary eyed when I think of her death, but it isn't the shattering grief I had before. Before it was just so hard to accept that someone like her, a FIGHTER, could lose her battle. I accepted that she was going to die, and that I was unlikely to be able to see her before it happened due to my financial situation. Oh but I wish I could have gone to see her. would have taken money away from moving. I literally have JUST enough. Even ten dollars less and I'd be screwed. I knew she'd rather I saved the money for its purpose, so I did. But it hurts that I didn't get to hug her one last time.
That's not what's hurting my heart the most though. I keep thinking about her family. Her two older kids? Their bio-dad is an ass and they had such a great relationship with their mother. How could they not? She was awesome. Her younger boy with her second husband (the one she was married to for ten years before getting all the paperwork squared away for her church wedding) is so young and vibrant and...he's just a great kid. He has to be hurting so bad now. But her husband is honestly the one I'm hurting the most for. I didn't know him that well, but I know that he has a great sense of humour, is a loving father to all the children, is generous, and positively adored Connie. And I also know that when they married he was a widower. I'm so glad that he's the man he is, because I don't know how he and his family would survive otherwise.
So why the title of this post? Because not too long before Connie died, good news was heard from another source. I'm really hoping that Connie was told about it before she passed, because I think it would have made her happy. Another dear coworker from the same place I knew Connie, well, she's had a tough life. Shortly before I left that area it was discovered that her son had a brain tumour, and it was right on the ocular nerve. This has been something that she's been dealing with for the past two years (with lots of drama involving her ex). Well, her son celebrated his last day of chemo last month. So this four year old has had his vision saved and the growth of a tumour halted by some truly fantastic doctors and nurses. I'm so glad, he's such a funny (and adorable kid).
So sometimes cancer wins, and sometimes it gets its ass kicked.

No comments:

Post a Comment